


Existence

by elirwen



Series: Kinkalot 2020 [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:06:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26068438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: Three souls united by the burden of existence.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Mordred/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Kinkalot 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878322
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24
Collections: Kinkalot 2020





	Existence

**Author's Note:**

> Written for week 2 of Kinkalot 2020 - theme: mistake.

**_His existence is a mistake._ **

His father never used those words. He never told Arthur his existence to be less valuable to him than Arthur’s mother.

Arthur doesn’t need to be told. He can hear the wistfulness in his father’s voice on the rare occasions he mentions his mother. He can feel the detached disappointment when Arthur fails to meet his father’s expectations. 

He can’t turn time. He can’t stop existing. He can’t bring his mother back.

He can only go on living, aware of the deep regret in his father’s eyes.

***

**_His existence is a mistake._ **

Fatherless. Not fitting in. A reminder of a short, heartbreaking love affair. 

He can see wistfulness in his mother’s gaze when she looks at him. The way she turns away in haste to hide the beginnings of tears in her eyes. 

All the magic brimming in his core and yet he can do nothing. There’s no way to help. 

He can only keep his head low, keep his magic secret, keep his loved ones safe.

***

**_His existence is a mistake._ **

Foretold to bring harm to the land he’s only ever wished to love and serve, to end the golden age of the kingdom that has yet to come into existence.

The weight of the inconceivable future sits on his shoulders. His life choices mean nothing. Everything has already been decided.

He can only move forward and hope not all is yet lost.

***

**_His existence is a sacred duty._ **

The crown sits on his head, the responsibility like a heavy cloak weighing down his shoulders. 

The kingdom prospers, peace spreads across the lands of Albion. The people are free, shedding the layers of fear accumulated in the long dark years after the purge.

His heart sings with devotion for the land, with pride for the strong nation flourishing under the life-altering changes, with love for the man standing beside him.

***

**_His existence is a sacred duty._ **

He kneels. All that he is, all that he possesses, all his magic, his whole soul, he lays it all down as an offering. It should feel like a burden yet it doesn’t. He feels light, secure in his convictions.

He swears an oath. To protect the land. To protect the kingdom. To love and protect its golden king. Forever.

***

**_His existence is a sacred duty._ **

The prophecy is a warning. A path that must never be taken. 

He gives his life to serving those he’s been foretold to fail. He gives his love to the land, the kingdom, its blessed rulers. To the once and future king and the immortal protector.

***

**_Their existence is ridden with suffering and bliss, human and otherworldly, public and domestic._ **

_They wage wars, unwanted, unavoidable. They ache with Albion’s suffering._

They wage wars, desired, begged for. They ache with need for release. 

_They hurt, exhausted, spread too thin, the land asking for too much._

They hurt, energy coursing through their limbs, nothing but them in existence. No demands but their own.

_They give orders, level-headed, clear. Their voices shaping Albion’s future._

They give orders, gasping moans filling the air, the reality blurring.

_They rule._

They’re all equal in their pleasure. All equal in their satisfaction. They give and receive. 

_Their lips worship the gods._

Their lips worship warm skin, soft and pliant as they make love, red and bruised as they fuck.

_Their bodies created to serve, be the vessels of obligations._

Their bodies sweat-slicked, pressed together, trembling. The vessels of lust, passion, tenderness.

_Their minds united in reaching the common goal._

Their souls intertwined, pulsing with love, unity, contentment.

**_Their existence is a gift._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and/or kudos are ♥.
> 
> [My tumblr.](http://elirwen.tumblr.com)


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